Mayhem and a Moscow Mule

      I have barely had a moment to sit down and write lately as I've been a very busy girl. Thank goodness the holidays are done. That kind of stress wreaks havoc on my mental state, bank account, patience and my diet. I shouldn't really call it a diet as it was truly a lifestyle overhaul. I changed everything. What I ate, how I functioned, when I got up in the morning and how I went about my day. I only wish I would have done it sooner. I'm so much happier than I was a year ago. This time last year, I was still bouncing back from that pesky hysterectomy. I remember how much my joints and tendons hurt like hell from just walking because I had lost so much blood. And then I caught Covid on top of that and was a little bit worried it would kill me since I had just had a massive surgery. I blamed my body for everything and truly hated the skin I was in. I think a lot of us women do. We struggle to feel affection towards our skin suits. If we aren't 120 pounds, we are o...

 Brr it’s getting cold out! I’ve been in a literal cooking frenzy. Or more specifically, a soup marathon. Liquid food is my shit. I’m working on a spicy chili tonight that I will complain is too hot and will set my tongue ablaze, but Lucas will love it. I love this time of year! It gets darker sooner and therefor I spend more time cooking. And I’m talking good food. Not just whatever I can scrap together between lessons. Not that things have slowed down but I get in nesting mode before winter and therefor-cooking! I would be great at hibernating. Just a lil chubby Ali bear all nestled in for the winter.      My wild summer and fall have wrapped up and boy have I been a traveling! Lucas and I spent a beautifully peaceful week in Gatlinburg, TN and let me tell you, the lack of responsibility was refreshing. Sleeping in? Heck yeah! Drinking wine on the porch swing at 10am? I'm here for it.  We did some touristy things like walking across a swinging bridge across a ...

     It's been a hot minute since I've had time to sit down and write but tonight felt right. I finally got that vacation I desperately needed which gave me some much needed clarity and time to reflect and think. I know most people know me as a fun and lively individual, but I can get real deep sometimes. This year, for me, was a big one. I decided I was going to do some real self improvement. No excuses anymore on why I am the way I am. After all-I'm free of that pesky uterus now so I've got spare time!  I'm a firm believer in if you want change and results-do the Work. That's it, just be better. And lucky for me, I had a lot of areas that had 'construction ahead' signs on them. It was time to get out the shovel and start filling in those potholes that were impinging me from being my best self. To work I went. To give you a glimpse of my flaws, we gotta go back a few years... In college I used to be a bit of a hot head. I was fiercely competitive and I ...

I’m awake again. This time it’s 2:30am and I’m not excited to be awake this time. No, this time it’s different. I’m actually incredibly tired but I’m hurting. My hips and knees are screaming at me for once again getting nearly 40,000 steps today. Thanks to my FitBit, I have these tidbits of knowledge now. Granted it counts steps when I’m riding. But still, it’s a of motion. It’s nearly the end of July and there’s no slow down in sight-it’s show season and it’s a short one when you live in a state that experiences winter. Show after show and weddings galore. If I’m not competing, I’m teaching or baling hay or doing a million other efforts to keep this farm running like the squeaky clean wheel it is. But I’m tired and I need a vacation just like every other farmer out there. My body is hurting from all the work load but it never slows me down. The torn hip flexors from college moan their resistance to the heavy work load. Truth be told-my body does not agree with horse riding. My hips wo...

 It’s 12:30am and I’m wide awake. I can’t sleep. I’m too excited for my journey ahead. It’s been an unusual and tough past few weeks of running around from here to there. Always seeming like everyone needs a piece of me or something from me and there’s just not enough me to go around. I was getting grouchy and antsy and tough. But some big things have happened and now I’m feeling jittery with excitement.                          The first thing to occur was buying some new off the track thoroughbreds for my program. It was stressful however because I’m not usually looking to buy in the middle of show season. There’s too much happening and I don’t have the time or money to shop and really look into the important details. Luckily for me, I decided to lean on some friends this time around who were more than happy to go shopping with my check book and find just what I was looking for. And now I’ve got a super sassy mare a...

  This summer has gotten out of control already and it's only June. I feel like I'm sprinting the hundred meter dash when I'm actually only fit for a slow jog. Or hurdles, but I'm blindfolded and the hurdles are on fire and the striding is wrong. You get the picture. I haven't had a whole lot of time to sit down and reflect and I've realized I'm missing out on all the little things happening without me. I seem to be sweating the details and stressing about non sensical things, but I missed my Irises blooming. I never even saw it happen. I only noticed that I missed it tonight because I was watering my veggies and saw the dead heads on the Iris plants. How could I miss that? If you are anything like me, you shove entirely too much into the summertime and never have a chance to catch a breath. But you fear that if you don't go and do all the things, you might miss out on something great and we can't have that. So we run. Run to that horse show, run to ...

I'm climbing on my soapbox for this one. I hit my limit last week of stupid responses people have when they find out I had an emergency hysterectomy in December. The most common is "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry" but it's always followed by "You must be so crushed about not being able to have kids now." Every time someone adds that, I want to immediately set things on fire and steal little kid's balloons. It can really set the tone for the rest of my day. Let me tell you why! It's about to get real. I have never in my life had a normal period. Ever. Even since I was a kid, they were downright awful. I think they put me on every single birth control available to womankind. Nothing worked. I was in the ER for cysts, internal bleeding, holes in my uterus and of course that one time that they were convinced I was hiding a pregnancy at 18. It was humiliating.  I would have actual pouches of blood that made me look pregnant. It ruined many horse shows, ...