Mayhem and a Moscow Mule

Anyone who says success is a straight line is a complete lunatic and needs to be put in a home. There, I said it. Success, I believe, is measured by your own relentless expectation of where YOU think you should be. And nothing else. I think back to my last year of living and my Lord it's been a wild little ride. First, things were dramatically difficult, constantly and I seemed to be this vicious cycle of self doubt and chaos. Like I was trapped in a cycle of suckiness. As if I was just wandering in a hall of mirrors and there was no way out. Just reflecting my own self insecurities and it was awful. How do you get out? Belief. Believing I could be better. That's what got me out of my loop. I had to physically write down the things I felt I was capable of but hadn't been able to achieve, yet. And then I started hacking away at that list. I had stopped lessoning and improving myself for a long time because I was so down on myself that I stopped feeling worthy of being better...

 Life doesn't always pan out the way we think it should, does it? Just when you think you have it all figured out, life throws a wrench in the works and all things go a muck. You find yourself on your bum with your jaw hanging to the floor and scraped elbows asking yourself how you got there. Or maybe that's just me. I've had some incredible past few months. Incredible in their successes and the misses. I don't like to call them failures because I learn from them. Just as I don't believe in bad days, but only poor moments. Life is perspective and one must choose have the glass half full or half empty. I'm a glass half full kind of girl and I like a rather large glass. Preferably a large wine glass or Moscow mule mug, but hey-that's just me. This awful spring sure made things tough here on the farm. I did my best to immerse myself in the day to day with the horses and look forward to my planned show schedules of ones I planned to attend and the ones I host bu...

      I have barely had a moment to sit down and write lately as I've been a very busy girl. Thank goodness the holidays are done. That kind of stress wreaks havoc on my mental state, bank account, patience and my diet. I shouldn't really call it a diet as it was truly a lifestyle overhaul. I changed everything. What I ate, how I functioned, when I got up in the morning and how I went about my day. I only wish I would have done it sooner. I'm so much happier than I was a year ago. This time last year, I was still bouncing back from that pesky hysterectomy. I remember how much my joints and tendons hurt like hell from just walking because I had lost so much blood. And then I caught Covid on top of that and was a little bit worried it would kill me since I had just had a massive surgery. I blamed my body for everything and truly hated the skin I was in. I think a lot of us women do. We struggle to feel affection towards our skin suits. If we aren't 120 pounds, we are o...

 Brr it’s getting cold out! I’ve been in a literal cooking frenzy. Or more specifically, a soup marathon. Liquid food is my shit. I’m working on a spicy chili tonight that I will complain is too hot and will set my tongue ablaze, but Lucas will love it. I love this time of year! It gets darker sooner and therefor I spend more time cooking. And I’m talking good food. Not just whatever I can scrap together between lessons. Not that things have slowed down but I get in nesting mode before winter and therefor-cooking! I would be great at hibernating. Just a lil chubby Ali bear all nestled in for the winter.      My wild summer and fall have wrapped up and boy have I been a traveling! Lucas and I spent a beautifully peaceful week in Gatlinburg, TN and let me tell you, the lack of responsibility was refreshing. Sleeping in? Heck yeah! Drinking wine on the porch swing at 10am? I'm here for it.  We did some touristy things like walking across a swinging bridge across a ...

     It's been a hot minute since I've had time to sit down and write but tonight felt right. I finally got that vacation I desperately needed which gave me some much needed clarity and time to reflect and think. I know most people know me as a fun and lively individual, but I can get real deep sometimes. This year, for me, was a big one. I decided I was going to do some real self improvement. No excuses anymore on why I am the way I am. After all-I'm free of that pesky uterus now so I've got spare time!  I'm a firm believer in if you want change and results-do the Work. That's it, just be better. And lucky for me, I had a lot of areas that had 'construction ahead' signs on them. It was time to get out the shovel and start filling in those potholes that were impinging me from being my best self. To work I went. To give you a glimpse of my flaws, we gotta go back a few years... In college I used to be a bit of a hot head. I was fiercely competitive and I ...

I’m awake again. This time it’s 2:30am and I’m not excited to be awake this time. No, this time it’s different. I’m actually incredibly tired but I’m hurting. My hips and knees are screaming at me for once again getting nearly 40,000 steps today. Thanks to my FitBit, I have these tidbits of knowledge now. Granted it counts steps when I’m riding. But still, it’s a of motion. It’s nearly the end of July and there’s no slow down in sight-it’s show season and it’s a short one when you live in a state that experiences winter. Show after show and weddings galore. If I’m not competing, I’m teaching or baling hay or doing a million other efforts to keep this farm running like the squeaky clean wheel it is. But I’m tired and I need a vacation just like every other farmer out there. My body is hurting from all the work load but it never slows me down. The torn hip flexors from college moan their resistance to the heavy work load. Truth be told-my body does not agree with horse riding. My hips wo...

 It’s 12:30am and I’m wide awake. I can’t sleep. I’m too excited for my journey ahead. It’s been an unusual and tough past few weeks of running around from here to there. Always seeming like everyone needs a piece of me or something from me and there’s just not enough me to go around. I was getting grouchy and antsy and tough. But some big things have happened and now I’m feeling jittery with excitement.                          The first thing to occur was buying some new off the track thoroughbreds for my program. It was stressful however because I’m not usually looking to buy in the middle of show season. There’s too much happening and I don’t have the time or money to shop and really look into the important details. Luckily for me, I decided to lean on some friends this time around who were more than happy to go shopping with my check book and find just what I was looking for. And now I’ve got a super sassy mare a...