Timeless Turnaround

 Sipping on my lavender tea tonight after a night quiet weekend away. I found what I was searching for while I was there at least and that was time. Time to catch my breath after a few weeks that felt like they were done at a Kentucky Derby gallop. I never had time. Time to breathe, time to enjoy or time to catch up. I was behind on everything from the medical bills of my super fun surgery in December to what I had planned for each sales horse this year, I just never had a spare moment to borrow to get it done. I was so busy trying to stay a nose ahead in the race. But I'm not always sure what I'm rushing toward and even what race I'm sprinting in.

Do you ever have those stupid tasks that you avoid like the plague that you eventually have to do? And then when you do it-it doesn't even take that long but you never can seem to just do it right away? That's folding socks from clean laundry or organizing and paying bills for me. Socks are irritating because everyone's partner is never there and you can only assume it disappeared into the abyss that is the washer. Like where the hell do these things go? And as for medical bills, I never feel like it's rewarding. Yes, getting my rotting and dead uterus out was super, but getting 909357854 different bills from doctors you are sure you never met is absurd. Who am I even paying? Was it the guy who brought the surgeon coffee during halftime of my hysterectomy? Must of been one helluva coffee sir. Anyway, it isn't time consuming. It lacks gratification of any kind and apparently that's what I'm in to. That's what starts my engine everyday and keeps me revving. Alongside a strong cup of coffee of course. 

Time though. Isn't it interesting the value we place on it? Always trying to keep up with it, be on it and not waste it. Staying relevant I suppose is important in the ever evolving horse world. Being on time is something to be appreciated although I rarely can manage it because I might just be able to fit something else in those few extra minutes! And then I'm late due to the need of more minutes. As for not wasting time. It just shows you the value we put on things. What I may deem a waste of my precious minutes, may mean the world to others. I find that when I teach lessons, I have a hard time sticking to the time frame. I get so fueled by my client learning a new concept or struggling through a tough one, that maybe that half hour time slot slid by and now it's been 47 minutes. In turn I become later to other engagements which will inevitably stress me out when I don't eat dinner til 9pm. But do I regret extending that lesson to help that student? Absolutely not. I don't deem that a waste, but a proper use as God intended. But then suddenly all your days run together and going to bed is the only thing separating my days from melding together. I suppose one could say that some control is often warranted in setting some boundaries for myself.

So time is what I went looking for and time is what I found. I slept in, I read books and relaxed. My body got what it has been yearning for for some weeks now, but was never allowed. My brain got to take a minute to dig into a book and forget about horses for a hot second. It wasn't without guilt of not being at the farm, but I nudged those thoughts aside and enjoyed the moments I was having. Then I returned home and folded the socks and paid the bills after much complaining to a non sympathetic lucas. It didn't take long but it didn't 'bring me joy' which Marie Condo would suggest getting rid of said item then. I hardly think I can apply that to medical bills but it sure is a pleasant idea. As for sales horses, I need to write their goals on a white board as they are ever changing as I am learning to be. One day at a time.

I've finished my tea now and I think I'm relaxed but honestly it could be the cookies I just shoveled in. Guess we will never know! But I'm taking the time I've earned to enjoy this moment. The socks are folded, the bills are paid and the schedule is made for the week. But as for now? I think I will curl back up with that good book and enjoy the rest of the night because a moment isn't wasted spending time with my man, the dogs and a book. Tomorrow will come and with it, the trials and tribulations. But, that's tomorrows' problem. And that's when I will dig the damn lost socks out of the washer abyss.