Cake Covered Trees

 Lucas and I went on an adventure tonight and we just had to get an indoor tree he decided. Why you may ask? Because that's how people know you 'made it' apparently. Not a million dollars, no. A houseplant. A freaking tree that is not native to Wisconsin in any way shape or form and cannot survive in it's climate. So apparently, that's how we are telling this world we made it in life. It's kind of half dead since my grandma neglected it for a few months. She turned it out to pasture before I rescued it. What happens when this massive needle dropping foliage out grows my ceiling is a conundrum to me. Sounds like later Ali's problem to me. I guess we are set for a few years worth of Christmas Trees now.

There are many times in my life when I thought "Gee, I think I've made it!" Once was in college when I secured my first internship. I also thought that when I was finally doing well on Reddin at Prelim level and people actually knew who I was at the big horse shows. I for sure made it then. Or maybe It was when I got married and was so deliriously happy and on top of the world and nothing could take my joy away. That definitely had to be it. Or it could have been when I sold my first serious sales horse and I felt like I was a real part of the horse world and people started to contact me in search of their next horse. I paid off my pickup truck with that horse! Surely I had made it then, Right?

The question comes  down to, who are we always trying to keep up with? I know the phrase is 'Keeping up with the Joneses". But like who are those lunatics and why are we all trying to impress them? Why am I trying to 'Make it'? And who for? It's mind boggling. But even more so is the fact that inn my mind, I've 'Made it' so many times. I think that's the beauty of it. It's not just a destination, or at least it isn't just for me. It's a journey. Like each time I check a goal off the list-I MADE IT! But there's so many goals to achieve. Like levels in a video game. Each time you achieve one, the next one is just a bit harder but so worth the fight if you are willing to work for it. I think it all comes down to what you are willing to go after. And what is 'IT'?

I admit, right now, I need someone to light a fire under my butt because I feel like I can't get motivated to get things done. All my goals for the year are all scattered now and I just can't get excited to start with my new crop of young horses. It's like what's the point? Apparently I haven't made it. The grass is not very green on my side of the fence currently. Momentarily or not. Sometimes you feel like you aren't making things better, but instead worse? I live in that spot it feels like. I have to remember though- kind of like when I make homemade cake -to create something fantastic-it's going to make things a wee bit messy on the way. But the result is incredible.

It's just an interesting thought to think of how different people deem that they have 'made it'. Is it a fancy car? Is it a fountain in the front yard of some majestic marble beast? I think for me it's some money eating monsters in the pasture or if I paid off my student loans! But I've kept up with these Joneses all my life I'd say. I'm happy and enjoy what I do-so what more does a gal like me need? Since the Joneses aren't real individuals, I'd say it's up to me to decide if I have kept up. Last time, no one swings by and checks in with a clip board to approve to disapprove of my situation. Unless you count Jehovah's Witnesses and I can't speak for those level 10 crazies. 

I do my best often to keep my blinders on and just keep watering my own grass and my own yard green, but I don't think it's so bad to check on others and see how they are doing too. But in a kinder way. Some of the 'happiest' and 'made it' people have some of the worst shit going on under the surface. So are the things a band aid? Are all the things we all envy just a façade to hide the truth? And on the contrary-some of the most broke people I know have the best attitudes because they aren't trying to keep up with anyone. They try to make each day better than the day before. They just stay in their own lane and go along killing it. Those people to me, have made it. Ultimate happiness. 

So on that note-thanks for coming to my TED talk. I don't know if the Joneses think I've 'Made it" yet but I kinda don't give a rat's ass. I'm over here making giant messes in my kitchen with a chocolate cake and laughing with Lucas over the stupid tree we just got. I'm confident we are going to under water it and kill it like we always do because we suck. But I'm happy and I have it all in my mind. Well, until I have to sweep up all the newly dropped pine needles from hell. Ask me again then. But hey, I've made it.